SHARES
Many of us may have experienced seeing our teens attempt something new and then they change, as a result of (new) friends they have made. Sometimes, these changes can be drastic. All of a sudden, it’s as if the child we thought we had known all these years has evolved into someone that we barely knew.
This common phenomenon may occur among our teenagers – known as peer pressure. Interestingly, peer pressure evokes a stronger influence during the adolescent years than in adulthood (Steinberg & Monahan, 2007). Peer pressure, by default, is neither good nor bad. It simply refers to the push which compels an individual to act or think in certain ways.
Although it is normal to face pressure, the way everybody handles peer pressure varies due to the interplay of different factors in our decision-making.
Positive vs. negative peer pressure
Negative peer pressure is often associated with risky behaviours, such as smoking, substance abuse, sexual behaviours, illegal acts, or bullying. On the contrary, positive peer pressure encourages meaningful friendships, sense of belonging and character development. Influence among peers is important as it inadvertently shapes the development of your child.
Why do teens succumb to peer pressure?
During the adolescent years, exploration of social circle begins, and formation of identity during these years is a key developmental milestone. (See our article ‘Tackling your Teen’s Changing Appearance’ for more on the formation of identity in adolescence)
As teens grow to be more independent, they may rely on parents less for guidance. Instead, they look to their peers as benchmark to blend into their social circles. Engaging in the similar behaviours or activities enables teens to identify themselves to their peers and solidify relationships.
Other factors why teens succumb to peer pressure also include low self-esteem, desire to fit in and be liked, fear of rejection or mockery, or simply not knowing what they want (Kim et al., 2019).
Every teenager experiences different level of challenges when it comes to peer pressure. For instance, someone with low self-esteem or little friends may easily give in to influence, while a confident teenager with clear boundaries may be more resistant.
Helping your teen manage peer pressure
As we empathise with our teenage children, here are some useful advice to handle peer pressure:
1. Set limits and say “no”
– Talk and work together on setting boundaries. Common examples include not taking illegal drugs, or getting into a car with a friend who drinks and drives.
– Explain the negative consequences of each of these behaviours. Remind them to stay disciplined and committed to the safe limits regardless.
– Role-play on appropriate reactions to handle tricky situations. For example, if they are being pressured into smoking by their peers, one way to respond could be “No, thanks. I feel sick from just smelling the smoke.” It is important teens understand that while they should be polite when turning down the offer, they should also remain firm and steadfast in their answer.
2. Practise effective decision-making
Allow teens to practise making daily decisions for themselves. Witnessing positive outcomes of their own call helps to build confidence, which in turns foster better decision-making under peer pressure.
Another good way to develop good decision-making is through discussions of potential outcomes and consequences that they may have overlooked in various social settings. While trusting that they will eventually hone good judgement, adults play a role in helping teens find clarity in murky situations.
3. Develop self-esteem
Teens with low self-esteem tend to fear social ostracism and have a higher desire to fit in and be liked by their peers. Cultivate self-esteem by through praises and celebrating achievements (Kim et al., 2019). This will in turn boost their confidence, which contributes to building up resistance and ability to make good decisions when put under pressure.
4. Listen and provide support
Always maintain a trusting and supportive relationship between you and your teen. Let them know that you will be there to for them regardless of the circumstances. This will encourage your teen to confide when faced with difficult situations, which allows you to provide constructive feedback as guidance.
Parental role in managing peer pressure
Stay informed of our teen’s lives, and stay calm by not overreacting if our child does something which we do not approve of. Resisting the urge to judge them or control them can shape their receptiveness towards our opinions and guidance.
It is important to talk about their social lives, such as their interests, hobbies, social circle, and issues that are bothering them. This provides opportunities to show them that we care about their lives, while allowing us to set clear rules and boundaries.
If you would like additional resources on teens, sign up for the Thrive Psychology mailing list here, or check out our wide range of online content on our website, which includes educational videos, meditation podcasts, and e-books. The aim of our digital resources is to provide informative content. It is our hope that can help enrich parents with understanding of possible problems that may arise as your teens grow older, and how to deal with them.
References
- Kim, S. C., Romito, K., & Pellegrino, L. (2019, August 21). Helping Kids Handle Peer Pressure.
https://www.uofmhealth.org/health-library/abl0972. - Steinberg, L., & Monahan, K. C. (2007). Age differences in resistance to peer influence.
Developmental psychology, 43(6), 1531–1543. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.43.6.1531
Further reading: Tackling your Teen’s Changing Appearance
Thrive Psychology Clinic contributed this article.
Make an enquiry or book an appointment here.
———————————————————————————————————————
If you need to consult a Psychologist:
Find, Call or Book an appointment with a Psychologist in Malaysia, on GetDoc
Find, Call or Book an appointment with a Psychologist in Singapore, on GetDoc
Disclaimer
Important: The GetDocSays team has made extensive and reasonable efforts to ensure that medical information is accurate. The content reflect the opinions and views of the contributors and not the publisher.
The information on this site is not professional advice. Neither does it to replace personal consultation with a health care professional. The reader should not disregard medical advice or delay seeking it because of information published here.
by Joanne Lee
Multipotentialite. Loves creating and seeing ideas come alive. View all articles by Joanne Lee.
