SHARES
“When things get chaotic at home, I feel anxious, irritable and wanting to escape from everyone. I’m craving for some solitude and peace.” Lim is struggling for personal space at home with the “stay at home” injunction during the COVID-19 outbreak.
Personal space is a comfort zone we like to dwell in and remain during interaction with others. It seems that issues with personal space have become greater now, during COVID-19 shutdown, while we have no choice, but being stuck with others under the same rooftop. Particularly if you have a big family stuck in a small house!
Everyone needs their comfort zones for recharge and to reclaim a sense of self, regardless of the role you are playing in the family. Violation of personal spaces increases tension between family members. Luckily it is not impossible to enjoy your own space without leaving the home or being away from your family. Here are some tips on how to do it:
Personal Space Need – Especially during COVID-19
Many struggle with boundaries as we feel guilty if we don’t give someone else what they want, especially to our beloved family members. In order to have your own personal space, first you need to accept that it’s perfectly alright to have it. You are not bad for demanding more space than others, neither are you wrong for needing more space.
Communicate your needs and why you need them, in a polite way. You can start small like excusing yourself from a family gathering and retreat into your own space for some solitude before sleep.
Create a Space
Create a space for yourself. Find a place in the house which you are comfortable with. Private space can be anywhere, be it at the balcony, a chair at the corner, workshop in garage. Next, you may want to create some boundaries for more privacy. Curtains, screens, tall plants are some good examples of dividers that don’t require construction. Loft bed is also a good choice too as it saves space by creating space.
Furthermore, you can customize the place to fit your hobbies e.g. cuddling with your book, knitting, gardening. Your private space might not be as big as having a room to yourself, but the effect will still be significant.
Photo by Garret Keogh from Flickr
Cozy Up the Bed
There is one guaranteed personal space for you regardless of how many family members are staying together: your bed. So, put an effort to make it clean and comfortable. Get a nice sheet that you are comfortable with. Fill your bedside with personal items that have meaning to you such as books, candles, photograph.
Declutter
A spacious and clean home is important for living happily with other people in a small space. Try limiting your possessions to the essentials and declutter the unnecessary. A more spacious space also means that you have a bigger room for creating your personal space.
Find Activities For Kids to Engage in
As a parent, you want to always be there for your kids. However, everyone needs to retreat into themselves once in a while, and there is no exception for parents. Have some alone time so that you can recharge and focus more on yourself. It may be hard to let go of your child but remember, your kids need their private time too. Have a creative corner just for your kids where their imagination can grow, for instance, reading, drawing, engaging in pretend play.
Photo by Steven Fielding from Flickr
Show Respect
You have more freedom to cross the boundaries of people you know compared to strangers, especially with your family members when living together. However, don’t take for granted that they will not feel uneasy if their space is being intruded. Be kind and show respect. Be attentive of their boundaries, especially in a closed space where there is no easy escape.
Photo by dorthrithil from Flickr
Conclusion
After all, personal space holds its immense value. It now becomes more acute now with Covid-19 stay home precautions. Protecting our personal space, both physical and emotional, is important at all times. Living with others doesn’t mean you must surrender every inch of your solitude. With careful communication and some creativeness, you can enjoy your comfort zone.
Find a GP/Family Doctor in Malaysia, on GetDoc
Find a GP/Family Doctor in Singapore, on GetDoc
References:
1. Whitbourne S. 5 things you need to know about personal space [Internet]. Sussex Publishers. 2019 [Available from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201904/5-things-you-need-know-about-personal-space; last accessed on 2020 Apr 14]
2. Gonzales S. Easy ways to regain your personal space at home without feeling guilty [Internet]. Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. 2016 [Available from: https://www.herworld.com/solutions/easy-ways-regain-your-personal-space-home-without-feeling-guilty/; last accessed o 2020 Apr 14]
by Chang Xian
View all articles by Chang Xian.
